Can We Please Return to Civility?

It is my word, civility. Merriam-Webster defines it as courtesy, politeness, a polite act or expression, and training in the humanities. Civility, for me, means exercising humanity with mindfulness toward others and the world we share. It is such a beautiful word, and I miss it. Not the word, but civility among us. I've been thinking about it quite often, even before former President Trump won the election and his return to the White House became inevitable. It was unsettling to watch such a hateful man win this nation's presidential election.

Pasadena, California

I am not concerned about his plan to deport unlawful residents of this nation. I am concerned that I will be targeted in a massive sweep as a Korean, so I will be carrying my United States Passport Card, a federal government-issued identification, as proof of my U.S. citizenship. Is it inconvenient? Not at all. It is the size of my California identification card.

Unlawful residents. I rarely use undocumented or illegal to describe immigrants who unlawfully enter and reside in this nation. I cringe when the mainstream media generalizes immigrants as though we are all here under one circumstance—unlawfully. About 75% of immigrants in the United States lawfully enter and reside with permission from the government. So you see, most immigrants aren't afraid of Mr. Trump's plan to deport unlawful immigrants.

I know not a single person who is here unlawfully. I'm not losing sleep over it. I'm certainly not anxious about it. Mr. Trump's plan for deporting unlawful residents is simply following the law, which already exists. Deportation is the legal consequence of unlawful entry and residence. If this law is unjust and discriminatory, why haven't the progressives worked to change it? If we believe in open borders, then why haven't we worked to abolish all immigration restrictions and laws?

The words from The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus in 1883 are altruistic: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” It is something we should do, but is it something we can do? I don't think anyone who lives in Los Angeles with a mindful heart would say yes. Parts of the county have become homeless encampments with inhumane living conditions and growing public health hazards.

More than 75,000 people in the county are homeless, most without access to running water or toilets. Some dig through trash cans for food. What does it say about us to call ourselves a sanctuary when we cannot provide humane living conditions for the 75,000 already here?

At best, it is foolish. At worst, it signals indifference—altruistic in language, distant in practice. Regardless, how can we say that we have civility when people are living in abhorrent conditions? We can't. Civility must come before altruism—otherwise, it is only rhetoric.

Civility cannot exist without law and order. Californians overwhelmingly voted in favor of Proposition 36 to allow felony charges and increase sentences for certain drug and theft crimes under $950 last month, after years of being plagued with crimes that forced retailers to lock everyday items—toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo, deodorant, razors, shaving creams—behind plastic doors. Simply put, we ran out of liberal patience waiting for someone to unlock the doors for toothpaste.

The proposition reclassifies certain misdemeanor theft and drug crimes as felonies to ensure mandated treatment for drug possession and prison time for theft. After a decade of Proposition 47, which changed certain low-level crimes from potential felonies to misdemeanors back in 2014, Californians learned that lax laws and penalties encourage behavior that harms people and communities. We learned that we cannot maintain law and order without meaningful enforcement.

Not all of us have humanity and ethics. Some of us don't even have basic etiquette. Enforcement of law and order isn't to change a person who lacks humanity, civility, and ethics. It exists to restrain people from harming others or damaging property by imposing consequences. What is that saying therapists often return to about boundaries? Boundaries without consequences are meaningless. Our laws are boundaries, and penalties are consequences.

Can we achieve a culture of inclusion, equality, and empathy without civility? Come January 20, this nation will turn dark with executive orders that will shatter some of us. How did we get here?

We are all culpable. It isn't just MAGA. It is also the liberals. Our politics are polarized. Different opinions and perspectives are treated as hostility rather than opportunities for discussion. We are intolerant, even of questions. Blinded by our extreme agendas, we fail to see that some issues are grey. We can't acknowledge that not everything is black and white. Civility is lost in this polarization.

_____

More essays:

I Am Not Alone. I Am a Party of One.

Hunger

Be a Parent, Not a Pimp

This Crazy World We Live In

I Will Not Vote for Biden—But I Will Cast My Vote for Him

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