Not for Amber Heard, But for Domestic Violence Victims

I am neither Team Johnny Depp nor Team Amber Heard. I don’t know who is telling the truth. Perhaps there is no singular, absolute truth between them. What I do know is that Johnny Depp previously brought a libel lawsuit against a British tabloid for calling him a “wife beater,” and the court ruled against him. The judge found that the allegations were “substantially true” and that the great majority of the alleged assaults had been proven to the civil standard.

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

I did not follow the U.S. trial closely as it unfolded. I avoided the daily commentary and the spectacle around it. I read more carefully only after the verdicts were delivered. It was also after the verdicts that I read the op-ed written by Amber Heard, first published in The Washington Post in December 2018. That was also when I learned that she had served as an ambassador for women’s rights with the American Civil Liberties Union, and that the op-ed was connected to that work.

If you consider yourself Team Johnny Depp and have not read that op-ed, I strongly suggest you do so before proudly wearing the team jersey. We are all entitled to our opinions. But there are moments when the way we perform those opinions—publicly, gleefully, without reflection—can cause harm far beyond what we intend. Johnny Depp may appreciate your confetti. He almost certainly does not know your name.

In its coverage of the trial, The Washington Post cited commentary from international media lawyer Mark Stephens, who described Depp’s legal strategy as DARVO—deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. DARVO is a well-documented tactic, and it is often effective with juries. It also makes for compelling television.

I hope we are not celebrating a legal win achieved through a strategy that depends on discrediting and attacking those who report abuse.

I say this not for Amber Heard, but for women who are being abused as you read this.

The emotional chaos of being harmed by someone you love deeply is difficult to articulate. There is shame in the abuse itself, and often more shame in naming it. It can feel easier to deny what is happening—to stay—than to accept the devastating truth that someone you love has no regard for your safety, or even your life. That realization can shatter a person. It can come frighteningly close to killing them.

This could be happening to your sister, your friend, your mother, your aunt. They may be hiding it. And no—you would not necessarily know.

When you wear that Team Johnny Depp jersey, you may be silencing a woman who is already struggling to speak. Your intention may not be to shame or quiet survivors, but that is the risk you take when you turn abuse into spectacle and celebration.

So ask yourself: who needs your support more—Johnny Depp, or women who are living with abuse?

_____
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