And Just Like That... Samantha Moved to London!

When it was announced or may have been "leaked" before it was officially announced, I was excited with a bit of reluctance. Sex and the City had been one of my favorite timeless series. In the beginning, Carrie pulled me in with her splendid fashion sense and the life stories shared with Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha that led to pondering questions.

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

It was Samantha that kept the series interesting. She lived a life of self-care before it was even a buzzword. Self-care was previously called selfish and bluntly honest. She was confident and wasn't afraid of hearing no. She distinguished love and lust, which most of us often fail to grasp. She knew sex. More importantly, she knew love. When she fell in love, which was rare and fought by her, she showed her vulnerability and tenderness like no other.

How will they write off Kim Cattrall's departure from the series? Will they kill her character? Worse yet, replace Kim Cattrall with another actress? We now know that Samantha hasn't been killed off and that there is a lot of room for her to step back into And Just Like That. 

What will And Just Like That be like without Samantha? So far, it has been somewhat uneventful other than the death of Mr. Big. His death has received more attention from the sexual assault allegations against Chris Noth than how it impacts the storyline. Carrie's loss didn't touch me much until Mr. Big's will was read.

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It wasn't with Carrie... I felt for Natasha as she ignored Carrie's emails, blocked her on Instagram after Carrie sent her a message and had her assistant lie about her whereabouts to Carrie when she showed up at Natasha's office. Mr. Big and Carrie injured her with their affair. Natasha moved on and didn't want to relive what she had moved on from even for one million dollars. 

Sometime towards the end of November, my ex, who is facing a possible criminal charge of domestic violence and has a temporary restraining order to keep away from me, started monitoring me on Instagram. The restraining order I have against him has all the check marks of do not approach. While he cannot stalk me, he can view my Instagram posts and stories as long as he doesn't leave a comment or tries to message me. This is a man who didn't use his account and didn't show any interest in my account during our relationship. After nearly 3 months since he was arrested for domestic violence, he started to view my stories everyday and sometimes more than twice a day. 

When I received an appointment letter from the city attorney about the pending criminal charge against him, I knew that he was showing up on my Instagram stories views to intimidate me. My first instinct was to block him, but decided against it. I didn't want to chance angering him, have him pursue finding where I live and then physically injuring me. Even with the fear, I didn't want to hide. 

I have moved, started a new job, and been digesting all the trauma I endured for 18 months from him and his family. I wasn't going to shut down my Instagram account or change it to a private mode because of him. It isn't like he can reach out through my iPhone's screen, strangle and smother me to death. I am now strong enough to say yes if police were to ask me again if I would like him arrested for violating the restraining order. 

I also couldn't rule out that he had other malicious intentions to monitor my Instagram account... In that case, he could easily create another account to monitor it. I rather know that he is watching, then not. So, I decided to ignore him. 

Over several past weeks, he had become less of a person but just a part of my past. And then he stopped showing up on the view list for a day. Next day, his oldest (almost 20 years old) daughter started showing up on the view list. My Instagram account is under this blog's name. It can't be found under my name nor email address... The only person who could've told her about my account name is him. He had threatened to destroy me using his adult daughters to make false accusations if I ever went to the police to report the abuses. He was very good at building false narratives along with them and gaslighting. I have learned that habitual abusers are very good at them.

I've moved on. I am continuing to move on, despite the father-daughter tactical monitoring of my Instagram account. I don't have room for him or his family in my life and space, mental and physical. I am not curious about them and their lives. I have neither ill nor good wishes for them. Simply put, they are persona non grata. They are annoyances that don't even trigger anxiety at this point, but more like hangnails that require me to get the nail clipper out on a busy day.

So, I understood Natasha. Whatever reconciling John and Carrie had to do to make peace with themselves was not Natasha's share. Mr. Big's gesture didn't have Natasha in mind, but solely his need to make it right with her. She didn't owe Carrie an answer. John and Carrie were simply a bother to her. And, good for Natasha for making it very clear and drawing that boundary. 


Vivaterra

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