Lost in Gender Identification & Sexuality

Nearly 500 anti-LGBTQ+ bills have been introduced in state legislatures so far this year, according to the Associated Press, with at least 17 states passing laws that restrict or ban gender-affirming care for transgender minors. At a time when cases of gender dysphoria among adolescents are drawing heightened attention, the question of gender-affirming care has become less a matter of human dignity and more a battlefield of political polarization.

The word intolerance has lingered in my mind since the night Mr. Donald Trump won the presidential election in 2016. It was a heartbreaking moment to watch 62,985,106 Americans cast their votes for a man whose rhetoric toward minorities and protected classes had so often been steeped in hostility. Nearly 46 percent of American voters supported him, delivering 306 electoral votes and the presidency.

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

Nearly seven years later, perhaps we should not be surprised that LGBTQ+ communities are increasingly framed as a threat to children and adolescents — sometimes spoken of with greater alarm than gun violence.

Gender identity has been on my mind lately. The truth is, I am largely indifferent to how others identify. Life — even a life that appears simple from the outside — carries its own shadows. My instinct is to focus on tending to my own well-being rather than becoming agitated over how someone else understands themselves. As a former therapist once asked me during a moment of anxious overthinking: “What’s it to you?”

And yet the subject lingers.

Because denying someone the ability to express and live according to their identity is, fundamentally, a denial of human rights. There is no elegant way to soften that reality. At the same time, the recent rise in gender dysphoria among adolescents raises questions worth examining, including discussions about whether social influences play a role — a possibility explored in Psychology Today. But acknowledging complexity does not erase a basic principle: individuals have the right to define and live their own identities.

For those inclined to frame the debate through religion, I would offer a reminder. The United States was founded on the principle of separating church and state. That separation protects the freedom to practice religion, but it also protects the government from being governed by religious doctrine. When religion is removed from the policymaking equation, what remains is a question of human rights.

Much of the public anxiety surrounding gender identity stems from unfamiliarity. Fear of what we do not understand has helped spread misinformation about gender identity and sexuality, fueling protests from parents who oppose discussions of these topics in schools.

I often wonder what those parents imagine will replace that education. If schools are silent, where will children learn? From TikTok? From social media algorithms? From whispers in hallways?

Suppressing discussion does not erase identity. Attempting to prevent young people from exploring who they are often does more harm than protection, particularly when mental health is involved.

Instead of teaching children how to approach difference with empathy, curiosity, and compassion, we risk teaching them something far less generous: that those who differ from us should be judged, excluded, or pushed into silence.

We risk teaching them that happiness is acceptable only when it conforms to the expectations of the majority.

And that is a cruel lesson to pass along.

In our fixation on gender identity and sexuality, we seem to be losing sight of something more fundamental. What ultimately matters is not how someone identifies, but who they are — the character they bring to the world and the humanity they extend to others.

Gender and sexuality do not determine a person’s worth.

The measure of our humanity lies in whether we allow others the freedom to live their lives with dignity, even when their lives look different from our own.

_____
More essays:
Culpability in Mr. Jordan Neely's Death
Why Are We Not Fighting the Right Battles When It Comes to Women’s Rights?
When Positive Culture Becomes Toxic Dump
Was I Wrong to Have Accused White Men?
Are You Hustling?

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